Before I even get started, and without sabotaging my own post and giving you the dreaded spoiler alert. But the answer is... Nothing. I know absolutely nothing.
I can however give you a run down of what it's been like for me so far.
1. The ever so boring adage of pregnancy is different for everyone is true.
I am EX-HAUS-TED. Exhausted. If you give me half a second I will fall asleep. I have fallen asleep at my desk on more than one occasion. My boss even sent me home one day because I was finished. I was completely unable to function whatsoever. I've had numerous people tell me, "oh I didn't have morning sickness once" I say "oh shut up"
2. To be very honest, for the most part, I have hardly been present during the first few weeks of this pregnancy. Probably due to many reasons, but mostly because I am completely paranoid, due to past experience. I wonder about every ache and pain.
I need to become more focused and present, I always said I only ever wanted one child. If this is going to be my one and only pregnancy, I want to enjoy it. I want to be excited. I probably will only be really excited in the second trimester though, if I must be honest.
3. You will be emotional and sometimes just plain crazy. I am emotional about a lot of things. I cry over random things. Like pregnancy insomnia. I also cry watching YouTube videos and I cry reading other peoples blogs.
4. You will get chubby. I have gotten chubby. My butt has grown considerably in a short space of time. I think it's the bread. I do have a small belly already. Yesterday I had a conversation with a colleague and while we were all joking around I asked "is this a chubby belly, or is it a pregnant belly?" she promptly replied, it's very much a pregnant belly. (I was wondering if I would be able to hide it from my MD. I have yet to tell him)
5. You will feel like you need to have a glorious poop... All.The.Time.
6. You will have a variety of symptoms. Some days, one symptom a day, other days all the pregnancy symptoms of all the lands will be upon you. I want to talk about a few of them.
6.1 Sore boobs: - Your boobs wont always hurt. Not every day. Some days are worse than others, but tomorrow it is very highly likely that your boobs will not be sore in any way, questioning the very existence of said pregnancy.
6.2 Morning Sickness:- this one is a real doozy. Whoever coined it Morning sickness, clearly had NO clue. I am nauseous 24/7. Even when I sleep. The physically getting sick part is something else.
I tried to explain it to someone earlier. It feels like I am a tube of toothpaste and I am being squeezed from the bottom up. The contents come out slowly and with great difficulty. This makes me more nauseous and then I throw up more. I don't know if it is because my digestive tract has slowed down and the muscles by the stomach and oesophagus are also more relaxed now, but it is most unpleasant. Except for about 5 minutes ago, I got sick here at work. This vomit was the real deal.
6.3 Food aversions and cravings: I don't really crave anything. Except for Steers chips and BBQ sauce. I can happily eat the sauce out the little sachet. As for food aversions, my love for Chinese food is fast dwindling because everything for some reason smells like Chinese and this is upsetting me greatly. I also cannot stomach the thought of eating chicken at the moment. The smell of KFC in the air is nasty!
All these symptoms? Wash, Rinse, Repeat.
Thursday 19 March 2015
Monday 9 March 2015
Morning Sickness
Today I want to talk about morning sickness.
In my last post I had mentioned that I was suffering from a little nausea but otherwise I haven't had much in the way of actual morning, afternoon, evening, all day sickness.
Well now don't I just feel like a liar.
This weekend I found myself aimlessly wondering around the house from bed to fridge to couch to bed to fridge to couch, you get the picture. I absolutely did not know what to do with myself and the unbearable nausea. I couldn't decide if I was ravenous or if my stomach wanted to turn itself inside out. Sunday was the worst and where it normally subsides by 5 or 6pm, the urge to projectile across the country, stayed with me well into the late hours. After breaking land speed records to get to the toilet all I managed was dry heaving... and lots of it. It was not pretty.
The toy poms seem to be very confused with this behaviour and are constantly by my side. The look of concern on Nikki's face is priceless.
I've been trying to summarize my thoughts on the following facts:
* Nausea
* The actual act of throwing up
* Dry heaving
Needless to stay, dry heaving is hot on the tails of nausea and really is pushing for 1st place. The act of throwing up, although not pleasant, beats feeling like you're on a non-stop rollercoaster with a very full yet very empty stomach.
After I lost my first child, I always vowed I would take the bad with the good. Which I am, because, well, I have no option to be quite honest. But living on flat coke and salt and vinegar crisps isn't fun or nutritious. Right now, until I go back to the gynae, I really have no choice. I'm alot bit paranoid of just taking anything.
Morning sickness is not for sissies. This business is open and its flourishing. I just want to crawl into bed and cry a little whimper and not have to torture myself with everyones food in the office that smells like Chinese. I'm not sure if it's because 2 weeks ago we had Chinese, and now I'm sub-consciously put off, or if because if the chick in hardware sales is eating Chinese flavoured popcorn, or if it's because I am actually craving Chinese.
Although I'd really like a lamb tikka right about now
In my last post I had mentioned that I was suffering from a little nausea but otherwise I haven't had much in the way of actual morning, afternoon, evening, all day sickness.
Well now don't I just feel like a liar.
This weekend I found myself aimlessly wondering around the house from bed to fridge to couch to bed to fridge to couch, you get the picture. I absolutely did not know what to do with myself and the unbearable nausea. I couldn't decide if I was ravenous or if my stomach wanted to turn itself inside out. Sunday was the worst and where it normally subsides by 5 or 6pm, the urge to projectile across the country, stayed with me well into the late hours. After breaking land speed records to get to the toilet all I managed was dry heaving... and lots of it. It was not pretty.
The toy poms seem to be very confused with this behaviour and are constantly by my side. The look of concern on Nikki's face is priceless.
I've been trying to summarize my thoughts on the following facts:
* Nausea
* The actual act of throwing up
* Dry heaving
Needless to stay, dry heaving is hot on the tails of nausea and really is pushing for 1st place. The act of throwing up, although not pleasant, beats feeling like you're on a non-stop rollercoaster with a very full yet very empty stomach.
After I lost my first child, I always vowed I would take the bad with the good. Which I am, because, well, I have no option to be quite honest. But living on flat coke and salt and vinegar crisps isn't fun or nutritious. Right now, until I go back to the gynae, I really have no choice. I'm a
Morning sickness is not for sissies. This business is open and its flourishing. I just want to crawl into bed and cry a little whimper and not have to torture myself with everyones food in the office that smells like Chinese. I'm not sure if it's because 2 weeks ago we had Chinese, and now I'm sub-consciously put off, or if because if the chick in hardware sales is eating Chinese flavoured popcorn, or if it's because I am actually craving Chinese.
Although I'd really like a lamb tikka right about now
Friday 6 March 2015
Un-Ex-Pec-Ted indeed!
You guys, babies are scary. Parenting is scary. I was always the person enviously watching from the side-line while everyone was getting knocked up and raising little families. 2015 marked the year when my Facebook feed was filled to the brim with everyone's kiddies going to Grade 1, there was even someone who sent their daughter to Grade 8! Seriously, how far can any one person be behind in the baby making business...
Well you guys, not anymore. I don't know how it happened. Well, I do (hehe) but the whole thing is Cuh-ray-zee with a capital C.
For those of you who can remember and if you've been following my other blog long enough, will remember that back in 2013 I had the procedure of cyst removal and a D&C to rid my lady bits of all the gunk and junk that had accumulated over the years. The doctor at the time said to me that my chances of conceiving naturally are slim as I was not ovulating correctly, if at all and that I was definitely need fertility medication to assist. Sad face. But life goes on.
Then back in January 2015, I had the house break-in and was incredibly stressed at the time. This messed up an even already messed up cycle..... As life would have it, I happened to ovulate that month and I ovulated later than what I technically was supposed to and well, as they say, the rest is history.
My little bean is almost 7 weeks old... and when I was at the doctor on the 2nd of March, we were just shy of 6 weeks and measured at less than half a centimetre.
At the risk of sounding ungrateful, impatient, whatever you want to call it, I find myself often wishing the next 5 weeks away so that we are out of the danger zone... Everyone says to stop stressing, but unless you've been in this situation before, it's very very difficult. Your every waking moment is filled with thoughts and ideas, worries and concerns.
Now I do want to say this.... pregnancy in your early to mid 30's is pretty difficult. It takes it's toll for sure. I do not even want to imagine how people in the 40's and these random grandma's that have babies at ridiculous ages do it.
I also do not have the symptoms that I imagined I would. I don't know what I thought I would feel but this is where I am at currently.
Fatigue:- you guys, tired is tired is tired. no?
NO! the exhaustion that comes with pregnancy is something that you could NEVER EVER EVER EVER describe to someone if they have not been pregnant yet. Just today alone I had a little power nap at my desk. I am literally useless at the moment. After a hard days snoozing at the office, I get home around 6pm and then snooze for another hour, then I get up at 7 because I absolutely have to feed myself and my two poor pooches who cannot for the life of them understand why Mom doesn't do anything with them anymore. If it wasn't for our basic needs I would probably sleep straight through. For the most part, I go back to bed between 8 and 8:30pm. I sleep well for 2 to 3 hours at a time and then wake up from the weirdest dreams.
Momnesia:- Also known as preggy brain.... I have that quite a bit. If I absolutely do not write everything down, I forget.
Sore Boobs:- Wowzer... I get sore boobs for the most part when I'm due to start my cycle every month, but this has nothing on premenstrual boobs.... This alone makes the thought of breastfeeding very very scary for me.
Nausea:- I haven't suffered from morning sickness at all, but I do get waves of nausea a different times of the day. Sometimes at 3 in the morning, sometimes between 1 and 5 in the afternoon, Sometimes between 7 and 9 in the morning.
Bleeding gums:- This is a new symptom that started about 2 days ago. Yesterday it was VERY bad. I ended up with severe toothache and really really inflamed gums. I wasn't a very happy camper and was your typical bear with a sore tooth. I bought myself a new soft toothbrush and changed toothpaste to Sensodyn and noticed a real difference this morning already.
Pregnancy Rhinitis:- Severely! Mainly from about 4am until about lunch time I have terrible cold and flu like symptoms. I'm guessing this is aggravated by my already existing allergies which seem to be slightly out of control since I have had to stop taking my chronic medication for my asthma. It's amazing how we as human beings actually become so dependant on popping a quick allergex here and there without two thoughts. Now I cant take anything and yet I still survive.
My asthma is also slightly out of control at the moment and I'm not happy about that. Hopefully that can be resolved on the next doctors visit.
Our next visit is on the 27th, another 3 weeks to go.
I have a lot on my mind right now. Sometimes I cant keep up with myself.
I have to move. I need a bigger place. How am I going to find an affordable place?
How am I going to do this without my Mom living nearby?
How am I financially going to be able to provide for this little person?
Do I live where I am now as I have a cousin nearby or do I move closer to work?
I don't know how to answer all these questions, but there is one thing I’m holding on to and that is HE KNOWS. HE will provide. HE will make it happen. HE will see me through this. HE is the giver of all things and through HIM I can do all things!
I absolutely do not know what the Lords plan is for my life right now, but I am holding on to hope, holding on to faith.
I have no idea how I’m going to do it but I do know that He is faithful and He will work it all out. He already has no? What He’s called us to, He will walk us through…
Thank you for sharing this journey with me! Any tips and advice will ALWAYS be welcome.
Well you guys, not anymore. I don't know how it happened. Well, I do (hehe) but the whole thing is Cuh-ray-zee with a capital C.
For those of you who can remember and if you've been following my other blog long enough, will remember that back in 2013 I had the procedure of cyst removal and a D&C to rid my lady bits of all the gunk and junk that had accumulated over the years. The doctor at the time said to me that my chances of conceiving naturally are slim as I was not ovulating correctly, if at all and that I was definitely need fertility medication to assist. Sad face. But life goes on.
Then back in January 2015, I had the house break-in and was incredibly stressed at the time. This messed up an even already messed up cycle..... As life would have it, I happened to ovulate that month and I ovulated later than what I technically was supposed to and well, as they say, the rest is history.
My little bean is almost 7 weeks old... and when I was at the doctor on the 2nd of March, we were just shy of 6 weeks and measured at less than half a centimetre.
At the risk of sounding ungrateful, impatient, whatever you want to call it, I find myself often wishing the next 5 weeks away so that we are out of the danger zone... Everyone says to stop stressing, but unless you've been in this situation before, it's very very difficult. Your every waking moment is filled with thoughts and ideas, worries and concerns.
Now I do want to say this.... pregnancy in your early to mid 30's is pretty difficult. It takes it's toll for sure. I do not even want to imagine how people in the 40's and these random grandma's that have babies at ridiculous ages do it.
I also do not have the symptoms that I imagined I would. I don't know what I thought I would feel but this is where I am at currently.
Fatigue:- you guys, tired is tired is tired. no?
NO! the exhaustion that comes with pregnancy is something that you could NEVER EVER EVER EVER describe to someone if they have not been pregnant yet. Just today alone I had a little power nap at my desk. I am literally useless at the moment. After a hard days snoozing at the office, I get home around 6pm and then snooze for another hour, then I get up at 7 because I absolutely have to feed myself and my two poor pooches who cannot for the life of them understand why Mom doesn't do anything with them anymore. If it wasn't for our basic needs I would probably sleep straight through. For the most part, I go back to bed between 8 and 8:30pm. I sleep well for 2 to 3 hours at a time and then wake up from the weirdest dreams.
Momnesia:- Also known as preggy brain.... I have that quite a bit. If I absolutely do not write everything down, I forget.
Sore Boobs:- Wowzer... I get sore boobs for the most part when I'm due to start my cycle every month, but this has nothing on premenstrual boobs.... This alone makes the thought of breastfeeding very very scary for me.
Nausea:- I haven't suffered from morning sickness at all, but I do get waves of nausea a different times of the day. Sometimes at 3 in the morning, sometimes between 1 and 5 in the afternoon, Sometimes between 7 and 9 in the morning.
Bleeding gums:- This is a new symptom that started about 2 days ago. Yesterday it was VERY bad. I ended up with severe toothache and really really inflamed gums. I wasn't a very happy camper and was your typical bear with a sore tooth. I bought myself a new soft toothbrush and changed toothpaste to Sensodyn and noticed a real difference this morning already.
Pregnancy Rhinitis:- Severely! Mainly from about 4am until about lunch time I have terrible cold and flu like symptoms. I'm guessing this is aggravated by my already existing allergies which seem to be slightly out of control since I have had to stop taking my chronic medication for my asthma. It's amazing how we as human beings actually become so dependant on popping a quick allergex here and there without two thoughts. Now I cant take anything and yet I still survive.
My asthma is also slightly out of control at the moment and I'm not happy about that. Hopefully that can be resolved on the next doctors visit.
Our next visit is on the 27th, another 3 weeks to go.
I have a lot on my mind right now. Sometimes I cant keep up with myself.
I have to move. I need a bigger place. How am I going to find an affordable place?
How am I going to do this without my Mom living nearby?
How am I financially going to be able to provide for this little person?
Do I live where I am now as I have a cousin nearby or do I move closer to work?
I don't know how to answer all these questions, but there is one thing I’m holding on to and that is HE KNOWS. HE will provide. HE will make it happen. HE will see me through this. HE is the giver of all things and through HIM I can do all things!
I absolutely do not know what the Lords plan is for my life right now, but I am holding on to hope, holding on to faith.
I have no idea how I’m going to do it but I do know that He is faithful and He will work it all out. He already has no? What He’s called us to, He will walk us through…
Thank you for sharing this journey with me! Any tips and advice will ALWAYS be welcome.
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