You guys, babies are scary. Parenting is scary. I was always the person enviously watching from the side-line while everyone was getting knocked up and raising little families. 2015 marked the year when my Facebook feed was filled to the brim with everyone's kiddies going to Grade 1, there was even someone who sent their daughter to Grade 8! Seriously, how far can any one person be behind in the baby making business...
Well you guys, not anymore. I don't know how it happened. Well, I do (hehe) but the whole thing is Cuh-ray-zee with a capital C.
For those of you who can remember and if you've been following my other blog long enough, will remember that back in 2013 I had the procedure of cyst removal and a D&C to rid my lady bits of all the gunk and junk that had accumulated over the years. The doctor at the time said to me that my chances of conceiving naturally are slim as I was not ovulating correctly, if at all and that I was definitely need fertility medication to assist. Sad face. But life goes on.
Then back in January 2015, I had the house break-in and was incredibly stressed at the time. This messed up an even already messed up cycle..... As life would have it, I happened to ovulate that month and I ovulated later than what I technically was supposed to and well, as they say, the rest is history.
My little bean is almost 7 weeks old... and when I was at the doctor on the 2nd of March, we were just shy of 6 weeks and measured at less than half a centimetre.
At the risk of sounding ungrateful, impatient, whatever you want to call it, I find myself often wishing the next 5 weeks away so that we are out of the danger zone... Everyone says to stop stressing, but unless you've been in this situation before, it's very very difficult. Your every waking moment is filled with thoughts and ideas, worries and concerns.
Now I do want to say this.... pregnancy in your early to mid 30's is pretty difficult. It takes it's toll for sure. I do not even want to imagine how people in the 40's and these random grandma's that have babies at ridiculous ages do it.
I also do not have the symptoms that I imagined I would. I don't know what I thought I would feel but this is where I am at currently.
Fatigue:- you guys, tired is tired is tired. no?
NO! the exhaustion that comes with pregnancy is something that you could NEVER EVER EVER EVER describe to someone if they have not been pregnant yet. Just today alone I had a little power nap at my desk. I am literally useless at the moment. After a hard days snoozing at the office, I get home around 6pm and then snooze for another hour, then I get up at 7 because I absolutely have to feed myself and my two poor pooches who cannot for the life of them understand why Mom doesn't do anything with them anymore. If it wasn't for our basic needs I would probably sleep straight through. For the most part, I go back to bed between 8 and 8:30pm. I sleep well for 2 to 3 hours at a time and then wake up from the weirdest dreams.
Momnesia:- Also known as preggy brain.... I have that quite a bit. If I absolutely do not write everything down, I forget.
Sore Boobs:- Wowzer... I get sore boobs for the most part when I'm due to start my cycle every month, but this has nothing on premenstrual boobs.... This alone makes the thought of breastfeeding very very scary for me.
Nausea:- I haven't suffered from morning sickness at all, but I do get waves of nausea a different times of the day. Sometimes at 3 in the morning, sometimes between 1 and 5 in the afternoon, Sometimes between 7 and 9 in the morning.
Bleeding gums:- This is a new symptom that started about 2 days ago. Yesterday it was VERY bad. I ended up with severe toothache and really really inflamed gums. I wasn't a very happy camper and was your typical bear with a sore tooth. I bought myself a new soft toothbrush and changed toothpaste to Sensodyn and noticed a real difference this morning already.
Pregnancy Rhinitis:- Severely! Mainly from about 4am until about lunch time I have terrible cold and flu like symptoms. I'm guessing this is aggravated by my already existing allergies which seem to be slightly out of control since I have had to stop taking my chronic medication for my asthma. It's amazing how we as human beings actually become so dependant on popping a quick allergex here and there without two thoughts. Now I cant take anything and yet I still survive.
My asthma is also slightly out of control at the moment and I'm not happy about that. Hopefully that can be resolved on the next doctors visit.
Our next visit is on the 27th, another 3 weeks to go.
I have a lot on my mind right now. Sometimes I cant keep up with myself.
I have to move. I need a bigger place. How am I going to find an affordable place?
How am I going to do this without my Mom living nearby?
How am I financially going to be able to provide for this little person?
Do I live where I am now as I have a cousin nearby or do I move closer to work?
I don't know how to answer all these questions, but there is one thing I’m holding on to and that is HE KNOWS. HE will provide. HE will make it happen. HE will see me through this. HE is the giver of all things and through HIM I can do all things!
I absolutely do not know what the Lords plan is for my life right now, but I am holding on to hope, holding on to faith.
I have no idea how I’m going to do it but I do know that He is faithful and He will work it all out. He already has no? What He’s called us to, He will walk us through…
Thank you for sharing this journey with me! Any tips and advice will ALWAYS be welcome.
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