No Pink Allowed: Take me to the ocean

I'm craving the ocean right now. There is something about the enormity of the sea and the calming serenity of the sand and water on your feet.

The sea is my happy place, I seem to lose all sense of time and space and I can feel my soul shake at every time I breathe in the salt scented air. I need to go back. I need to want to go back. I need to lose myself to myself just one more time before I dive head first into motherhood.

I've really been neglecting my blog and aside from that, I'm struggling to write because I've changed. When someone I know fell pregnant a few years ago, I noticed almost immediately that she started changing and I couldn't understand why. I do now. Maybe this space isn't for me right now. This week, this month. Maybe writing on pregnancy isn't my forte, maybe writing (when I have the time of course) once baby is here and those experiences will be better. I cant promise to write every week like I used to but I wont be shutting this baby down. I'll just leave her to hibernate a little and let her spring to life once in a while. I miss blogging. I do, but content lacks.

Also, things on the health front have been difficult lately. Pregnancy is hard and some days are even harder than others.

We've had 1 visit to the doctor, 1 visit to the gynae, 1 visit to a specialist dietician and 3 visits to the hospital in the space of a week.

We have to see the gynae every 2 weeks now as well. Much earlier than the last few weeks of pregnancy than planned but be that as it may, we do what it takes.

My blood glucose levels have risen dramatically over the last 5 weeks. So much so, they are beginning to think this isn't just a case of gestational diabetes but in fact wondering if I had an underlying issue of type 2 diabetes prior to falling pregnant and it has now only been highlighted with the pregnancy. When your sugar levels are between 13 and 16 this is a problem.

Jared is growing quickly and we need to curb that in a hurry.

I've had massive diet changes over the last week. My glucose levels are still very erratic but hey I've lost 2kgs. I'm still a winner. Yesterday in hospital, my reading was 6.1 which is an all time low, considering I did eat a yoghurt prior to that which means my sugar levels were well within the normal limits. Happy doctors, happy mommy, happy baby.

On top of all of that, I picked up a proper nasty bug from somewhere. I don't know where, but it had me floored. Both myself and baby were severely dehydrated and I had hardly felt him move in 22 hours. Back to the hospital, dripped up and medicated to the heavens. He has hardly stopped kicking since. The best feeling in the world.

I have so many pictures I want to share, but maybe I will leave that for a Wordless Wednesday and post them then. In the mean time, here are a few that I posted on Instagram. Until next time xxx