Ready?

My blogging is about erratic as my moods. I feel sorry for this little online space of mine... But not as sorry as I am currently feeling for myself and my little boy.

Diabetes has been winning my pregnancy and I have changed medication dosages more times than I care to remember and then just as I thought there is actually a possibility that I could be winning my pregnancy instead, my sugar levels decided to give me a big toffee. Just because it can. So now we have more medicine to try and get this crazy ass bull under control. Dont ask about the side effects though. When I first started on the new dosage, without going into all the details, let's just say I was man down. As in, lying on the couch, hardly moving, eating, drinking, breathing, living. Eventually Shawn forced me to eat lunch and even slaved away in the kitchen for my benefit. Good man.

Worse off than my sugar issues, I have developed a bit of a high blood pressure issue. Where this comes from is anyones guess. Currently as we stand right now, I have to measure my BP for the next 3 days and send the results to my OBGYN on Monday morning and they will make a decision as whether to take Jared out next week or still leave him to bake until the 6th of October.

Am I ready? I dont know. I have a lot of mixed emotions. I am super excited to meet our precious little boy, but I am also rather scared. I guess thats pretty normal too though?

Everything is pretty much ready for his arrival. Just a few odds and ends here and there that need to be seen to, but for the most part, I think we've got this.

And because I dont have anything more to say, here are some pictures to end of this post

Room Decor

Dummy Chain (DIY)

Little People Clothes

36 Weeks

Maternity Shoot at 32 weeks

Still Nikki's favourite spot, even if there is no space

32

Greetings and Salutations!!! 

I clearly wasnt kidding when I said I wouldnt be blogging as often as I was.

I got asked on Facebook the other day if I'm still blogging... Erm, yeah, kind of, sort of, not really. 

So doing a quick catch up post has been in the back of my mind since. 

With that being said....Where are we at....?

Change

You guys! 32 weeks! I cant believe it. Feels like it was just yesterday when I was looking at those two pink lines and my whole world changed. Forever! And oh how it has.

Nesting / Hospital

The nesting process has begun. It was a slow gradual process of removing all my personal things from work, leaving only the necessaries that I would need. I go on maternity leave on 23 September, so with 21 working days left, I wanted to be prepared. 

As for nesting on the home front? Maybe I am in denial a little, but I havent done anything with regards to getting a hospital bag packed and I have yet to wash any of Jared's teeny little clothes. I should probably get on that. I was initially waiting until I went on maternity leave, but for the last few days, this overwhelming feeling to make sure I am ready sooner rather than later has been weighing on my shoulders and if I know life, it's got jokes, I should probably take heed. This weekend sounds like a good plan. 

To be fair, I have started making a list of all things that I need to take with to hospital, but I doubt my lists are going to help me if I need to get there in a hurry. 

This is the bag I have chosen for hospital. I saw it online and I know that Cotton On Body in Eastgate had one, hopefully it's still there this weekend. 

Kloof Mediclinic offer a complimentary hospital bag filled with goodies for baby, so I only need to take his clothes and blankets with. 

I also got this lovely baby bag from Dischem, (you can never have enough bags)

I pretty much have everything I need, only a few odds and ends and we're good to go. I think anyway, 

Scans

I went for my 4D scan at 28 weeks. Man, did this baby not want to show us his face. At all. 

I tried rubbing my tummy and asking him so nicely and all three times he covered his face with both his hands. Even the technician was shocked at how he responded. Too cute! He was sucking his umbilical cord, and yawning and sticking his tongue out. It was too precious. 

The last 2D scan at the check up we couldnt see anything again. Jared has moved quite low down and isnt budging. The gynae had to try and manipulate him out of postion to get a head measurement. A rather painful process. 

I go again on Friday. Hopefully we can see whats going on there. 

Selfies

I have pictures from every week documenting my growth. I was looking at some of them the other day. I cant believe how there is this little life growing inside of me. It's incredible. I will do a post document the journey at some point in this lifetime. 

Dad

Jared went through a phase where he wouldnt kick for anyone but me, but now, if he hears his Dad's voice or feels his hand on my tummy, he goes wild. It's kind of sweet. 

I've just been given a swift kick to the side, which means mister is hungry. I best get on that. 

'Til Next Time

Take me to the ocean

I'm craving the ocean right now. There is something about the enormity of the sea and the calming serenity of the sand and water on your feet.

The sea is my happy place, I seem to lose all sense of time and space and I can feel my soul shake at every time I breathe in the salt scented air. I need to go back. I need to want to go back. I need to lose myself to myself just one more time before I dive head first into motherhood.

I've really been neglecting my blog and aside from that, I'm struggling to write because I've changed. When someone I know fell pregnant a few years ago, I noticed almost immediately that she started changing and I couldn't understand why. I do now. Maybe this space isn't for me right now. This week, this month. Maybe writing on pregnancy isn't my forte, maybe writing (when I have the time of course) once baby is here and those experiences will be better. I cant promise to write every week like I used to but I wont be shutting this baby down. I'll just leave her to hibernate a little and let her spring to life once in a while. I miss blogging. I do, but content lacks.

Also, things on the health front have been difficult lately.  Pregnancy is hard and some days are even harder than others.

We've had 1 visit to the doctor, 1 visit to the gynae, 1 visit to a specialist dietician and 3 visits to the hospital in the space of a week.


We have to see the gynae every 2 weeks now as well. Much earlier than the last few weeks of pregnancy than planned but be that as it may, we do what it takes.


My blood glucose levels have risen dramatically over the last 5 weeks. So much so, they are beginning to think this isn't just a case of gestational diabetes but in fact wondering if I had an underlying issue of type 2 diabetes prior to falling pregnant and it has now only been highlighted with the pregnancy. When your sugar levels are between 13 and 16 this is a problem.

Jared is growing quickly and we need to curb that in a hurry.


I've had massive diet changes over the last week. My glucose levels are still very erratic but hey I've lost 2kgs. I'm still a winner. Yesterday in hospital, my reading was 6.1 which is an all time low, considering I did eat a yoghurt prior to that which means my sugar levels were well within the normal limits. Happy doctors, happy mommy, happy baby.


On top of all of that, I picked up a proper nasty bug from somewhere. I don't know where, but it had me floored. Both myself and baby were severely dehydrated and I had hardly felt him move in 22 hours.  Back to the hospital, dripped up and medicated to the heavens. He has hardly stopped kicking since. The best feeling in the world.

I have so many pictures I want to share, but maybe I will leave that for a Wordless Wednesday and post them then. In the mean time, here are a few that I posted on Instagram. Until next time xxx

That face! I am so very much in love with this face. 

A few of my favourite little persons things

A blanket from Nana. I cannot wait for this to be finished

25 Weeks!

How can you love someone you've never met?

Today I'm blogging from the comfort of my warm bed on this winter morning with the satisfaction of knowledge that the toilet is a mere 10 steps from here. 8 if I make 'em big. My 24 weeks baked son is kicking away reminding that this will all be worth it when he is finally here.

Anybody else with vomit enducing heartburn? Mix that with a little bug and you have a sure fire recipe for disaster. I haven't been sick in weeks. It's been great. Last week was I climbed out the shower, I gagged, a little odd, but thought nothing more of it. Yesterday morning, same thing. I put it down to making myself sick from blowing my disgusting snot filled pregnancy nose. (inflamed to the power of 10 sinuses is a real pregnancy symptom. trust me)... Then I started throwing up, at work of all places with a side headache thrown in for extra measure. Went home early and crashed on the couch feeling very sorry for myself... Went to bed early, woke up to get sick and man alive, I was scared.... when your heartburn is so bad and you throw up, it burns your stomach, it burns your chest, your throat and your mouth. It just burns everything. It is rather unpleasant.

There is nothing glamorous about pregnancy. I see how the celebs and a few others do it. Just this past weekend, I had been to the hairdresser, got me some fresh locks, looking goooood. Saw my mothers neighbour.... "Oh you are looking fantastic" she said. "Oh thank you, pregnancy is wonderful" I said with a smug smile. See? I can also pull it off. But... behind the scenes, you're crawling on all fours and some days, you're just so darn exhausted (and the baby isnt even here yet) you've just mustered enough energy to brush your teeth, never mind your hair or anything else. No ones going to see you anyway while you hide out in your little baby cave.

Just the other day, S was sitting on an ottoman and I was straddling him (in a non Mills & Boon way) while he meassaged my lower back. I didnt realise how sore it was until he was rubbing that tension right out... Having a stomach puts some serious strain on you. I couldnt imagine having that all the time. Jeez. #notetoself: make sure you dont get lazy post-partum and get exercising.

I don't know why pregnancy is a real breeze for some and not so real breezey for others. Maybe their balls are bigger, who knows, but, what I do know, is that, somewhere a long the line, the roles are reversed and we wait patiently for that day. It's like gravity, physics, the law.... you can't get away from it.

Anyway, so where are we now, what have we been up to?

There are times where I could have been blogging, but I've been eating, sleeping, squirralling away baby items, getting ready for my harvest. My collection of all things cute and baby is growing by the day. Blankets and little clothes, bottles, nappies, little baby hangers. You know you're pregnant when you look at prams, cots and baby things, the same way you would eye out hot men. Sigh

We went and got the pram and cot 2 weekends ago. Damn expensive transport for a little human being. Like S says, baby making is an expensive hobby.

We have a scan coming up on Friday and then we have our 4D scan in a few weeks from now. I'm so excited for that. I cant wait to see my little boys face. I love the fact that he only kicks for his mama... it's our little thing. He responds when I tap my tummy and he hides away from everyone else. The first time I saw how my stomach moved from side to side and up and down it really freaked me out, but now I love it. Even now as I type this, my stomach has a heartbeat of it's own. I am absolutely in love and so in awe of Gods creation. There is nothing in this world that can top this! I am so in love with this little person, I cant wait to meet him.

Where are we at?

I've been struggling to write the last while, I have noticed a major change in my writing style which is also evident in the hundreds of half baked posts that have yet to see the click of the publish button. So with that being said, I am going to bullet point my way through this one. 

• BD is still away in Durban and didn't come home this past weekend and it looks like he might not be coming back for the next 2 or 3 weekends while they prepare to go live on their project. So this means a lot of weekend with little to do.

• This weekend however kept me relatively busy... On Saturday was the She is.... Grace, conference hosted by Light of The Nations church with Pushie Watson and Paula White being the guest speakers.An interesting day it was indeed and I left there with a lot of think about. Ps Pushie's message was absolutely spot on with everything going on in our lives and it left me totally blown away.

• On Sunday I drove to Jo'burg and spent the day with my parents. We went for breakfast (no eggs this time) and then went shopping for a few baby things.

• My Mom and Dad are so excited that Jared is on the way and he is already being super spoilt. Blankets and clothes and all sorts of goodies. I chose a little 4 piece onesie, legging and bib set. Since I have decided on a giraffe theme, this little set was perfect.

                                             

• I'm keeping a vigil on takealot at the moment to see when Sophie La Giraffe is on special again. I really want this want this teether. When I asked S to look online for me he saw it was R230. We should have bought it then, it's back to R329 now and I'm struggling to justify the price right now. He said he will keep an eye on it for us. Sophie, in my opinion, is a status teether and I'm quite cool with falling into that trap, I just want to do it at the right price. There is a lot of hype around this giraffe and I have seen a lot of rave reviews so I am convinced. 

• We still need to get the big things, pram, cot and changing table. I have something very specific in mind for the changing table, and have yet to see it, so will just keep looking. I would probably find that in an  antique store or similar. Maybe would be good to look there and can refurbish it if need be. This one here is about as close to the one I orginally saw:

                              
                                                                       I love this!

• I'm 20 weeks now... can't believe how time has flown. Halfway to meeting the love of my life! It feels as if it was just yesterday I was looking at those 2 little pink lines. 

                                                         

• I have another scan on Thursday afternoon and I always feel so weary as the day draws near. Some days it all feels so surreal and I can't believe it. For the longest time I believed that having a child was out of my reach and yet here I am now. We discussed the birth this weekend and although I'm not too fussed, I have been thinking about it more and more. I would like a natural birth, if possible, but my doctor is worried that it would be too stressful for me a considering my history with  my lungs collapsing and the severity of my asthma. I guess I will see closer to the time as well. I should probably start discussing it with my doctor when I see him again. 

I think that's about it for now. There are a few changes in the pipeline that I will blog about when we know more.

Will keep you posted!

[DIY] - The Godfather - An Offer You Can't Refuse

I haven't blogged this week yet... Mainly because I'm lazy, not because of any pressing commitments or anything like that.

My days at work are so unproductive lately, it bores me to tears, so by the time I get home I can't be bothered to do anything. I suppose I could blog during working hours (like I normally do) but then on Monday I got stuck into a book and y'all know that goes. 

Anyway, last weekend was Mothers Day, so we spent the day at my parents house, lunching and lounging and while we were there I decided to use the opportunity to ask my brother if he would be Jared's godfather. 

After lunch and dessert, while everyone was still sitting around the table, I gave him a jar filled with blue and white sweets with a note attached.    

I went to the Crazy Store since they normally have a variety of jars to choose from, but on this specific occasion I was wrong, so I popped into PEP Stores (you can find anything in there for next to nothing) and I found a jar for R14.99. What's not to love about that price.

Then I went shopping for white and blue sweets. Marshmallows filled the jar nicely and then I just added in the blue. I had to fish the blue and white mini marshmallows out from all the pink, yellow, green and orange ones. A tedious task that made me feel a little nauseous with that sweet aroma wafting up my nostrils, but it was a labour of love so it's all good. I added in some blue lollipops and sherbert and chocolate bars with blue wrapping. Then I found a blue and green dummy to finish it off. 

Wrapped it up with some string and washi tape, added the poem I created and et voila!!!

The time has come  

It is no myth

Soon to join us, is, 

Jared Daniël Smith

Where a love for the Lord

Overflows from your heart

A precious gem you can impart

So with this, I come to you rather, 

asking if you will be 
my little boys godfather

This has been such a surreal experience to share with my family and I am so overwhelmed with the amount of support I have received from them. I absolutely do have the best parents and brother and there is no doubt that my little brother is the right man for the job! 

                                       

     

      

Happy Wednesday Everyone!

Gender Reveal

I've been struggling to find the words for this post. There are no words to describe the emotions that have been threatening to overtake me since Thursday morning. 

When I wrote this post, it got me thinking. A lot. And I still stand by what I said, when people would "predict" the gender of my baby, a slight pang of guilt would stab at my heart in case it would actually be a precious baby boy and secretly I always imagined I would have a baby girl. I will not deny that.

I sat down with myself for a long time post Thursday 9:30am and forced myself to think why I discriminated (ultimately against myself) and herewith the conclusion on my thoughts: I dont think I ever allowed myself the opportunity to think what it would be like to raise a boy, since, a) I am female and thats all I know, girl things, tea parties, painting nails and braiding long hair and b) we come a family of predominantly females. IE. 8 girls, 3 boys. so it makes sense to only know girly things. 

Except.... If I have to be completely honest with you, myself and my brother are 4 years apart yet very close. We just have one of those relationships. We get each other without having to say a word. 

The two of us grew up together... building tree houses, playing army, building bunkers, playing lego, tv games etc. Boys things! Because well, I guess I couldnt really paint his nails etc. 

I used to play cricket and tennis with my Dad and brother and the neighbours. 

Basically what it boils down to is that at the end of the end of the day I do know boys things. A lot more than I realise. 

So when the gynae told me on Thursday that I this baby growing inside of me was 100% a boy, I was stunned for a second... But then thought back to 3 weeks ago when my mother and I were standing in the buffet queue and I said to her "Mom I think this baby is a boy".... I had already then been preparing myself I think. Mothers Instinct is definitely a real thing. 

All through Thursday I walked around in a daze. Not because of the gender reveal per se, but a boy can change things for another reason that I have yet to discuss on this blog, but will probably come in due time... 

Friday I was very emotional. I felt so overwhelmed with the fact that, this baby is no longer titled with, "the baby", "my child", "it" etc. 

He is now my Son. He is my flesh and my blood. 

HE is Jared Daniël Smith